So. It’s been a while. We have so much to talk about. Big things have happened in the world since I vacated the blogosphere. I have a lot of feelings about the state of the world today. I’ve never been one to shy away from controversial issues, so let’s just get right down to it. We’re going to address the elephant in the room.
We’re going to talk about Brexit.
But first, I want to give you an update about myself. I think you'll find I’m as self-absorbed as ever. Here's what's been going on:
The twins are graduating elementary school in a few weeks and I have yet to join the PTA. I’m going to make a last-ditch effort at impressing the powers-that-be by bringing in a copious amount of Box Tops next week. I mean, so many Box Tops. They’ll probably be able to build the new playground they want, that’s how many tops of Cheerios boxes I ripped apart in the last year.
My kids don’t enjoy the playground as much as they used to. They’re big. You know what I miss the most about them being little? I miss reaching my hand out behind me in the parking lot or sidewalk or mall knowing a little hand will instinctively find its way into mine. Sometimes I still reach back, out of habit. But no one holds my hand anymore.
Except John. John holds my hand and I’m all like, “Ew! No affection in public!” Unless, of course, I’m feeling needy. Then I'm like, “WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME! HOLD MY HAND!” I enjoy keeping him on his toes. It's a hobby.
Kiah the Wonder Dog would hold my hand, too, if she had a hand. As it is, she still only has three legs. (Leg regeneration isn’t a thing yet, though I really thought it would be by now.) I am her person. No one has ever loved me so unequivocally and with such abandon. After some consideration, it seemed cruel to leave her alone all day while I went to work, so I have decided to no longer pursue a conventional job. Instead, I continue to live the laptop life. This month, my friend Lydia and I took a leap and launched a content marketing business we call Smart Words Content. In fact, I re-started this blog just so our website could get its first backlink. I’m resourceful, which is just what people are looking for in their content marketer.
The kids are busy with their activities and their friends and their fidget spinners. They eat a lot. They say weird things like, “Sick! Nasty! Legit!” and I have to use what little self-control I possess to not laugh because they sound so ridiculous. Legit ridiculous. Kids these days.
Ella continues to flit through life, rainbows and butterflies trailing behind her. The boys are coming along nicely, even the oldest, whose name I am not allowed to mention on the Internet. He has forbidden it. He is 14 and I’m supposed to “respect his privacy.” When in the history of this country did children become autonomous beings deserving of privacy and, God forbid, respect? Legit ridiculous. Moving on…
So this post. It’s kind of a re-introduction, which is awkward. It’s kind of like when people ask me, “what’s new with you?” and my mind automatically goes blank. I suddenly can’t remember a single detail about my life or my kid’s lives. It’s my second least-favorite question, right after, “so what do you do for fun?” Nothing. I do nothing for fun. It’s all blank.
The blank computer screen was my blank mind personified. Or something literary sounding. Anyway I didn’t know what to write. “I like reading and spending time with my friends and writing and crocheting and taking long walks in the woods and listening to my Neil Diamond records and I’m learning to dance the waltz on YouTube” is boring. Giving you a recap of events that occurred in the past couple of years is boring. I think it’s boring because it’s not a story. There’s no context.
This post lacks a story, and I’m too tired to tell one tonight. I apologize. But I look forward to writing some stories in days to come, along with some lively commentary about the state of foreign politics. (Don’t you just wish U.S. politics was as interesting as it is over there in Great Britain? Great Britain politics is SICK. U.S. politics? Legit boring.)
So until next time.
(Clarification: I am not teaching myself to waltz by watching videos on YouTube. I don’t know why I said that. )